submitted 4 months ago* (last edited 1 month ago) by kescusay@lemmy.world to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

We've been getting some weird posts lately that... Well, they're not making me think it's gotta be an Onion headline, that's for sure.

So just a little refresher. Posts should be:

  1. Links to news stories from…
  2. …credible sources, with…
  3. …their original headlines, that…
  4. …would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

If it's not Onion-y, it doesn't belong here. Bizarre, horrific, and violent news can be here if the headline reads like something out of The Onion, but if it doesn't, it's going away. And if there's too much non-Onion-like content from an account, that account is going away, too.

If you're not sure whether the real news headline you've found is like The Onion, here's a few sample Onion headlines from today:

  • "Visiting Friend Pleasantly Surprised By City’s Open Hostility Toward Homeless People"
  • "Increasingly Powerful Trans Person Capable Of Using Every Single Bathroom At Once"
  • "Man Feels Like Bystanders Are Arguing For Him To Put Gun Down In Bad Faith"
  • "Wally The Emotional Support Alligator Went To See The Phillies"
  • ‘New York Times’ Issues Apology For Reporting Palestinian Deaths

See? Find headlines from real news outlets that remind you of headlines like those. And just to prove my point: One of them is real.


Bolsonaro appeared at the federal police in Sao Paulo on Tuesday to meet with officers, along with his lawyer and former adviser who was also present at the time of the alleged incident.

submitted 12 hours ago by tree@lemmy.zip to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

The no-bid micro contracts awarded to vendors at the center of a bribery scandal are rife with wildly inflated costs, an analysis finds.

How much does it cost NYCHA to change a lightbulb?

In one case, more than $708 per bulb.

That’s the rate the housing authority paid one vendor, who submitted a total bill of $4,250 to replace six LED bulbs and covers at Throggs Neck Houses in The Bronx, according to records reviewed by THE CITY.

Another vendor billed NYCHA $4,985 to replace one door to a compactor room. Yet another charged $4,875 to put in slip resistant rubber treads on a stairway with 15 steps — a cost of $325 per step.

When law enforcement officials arrested 70 current and former NYCHA workers on bribery charges earlier this month, they identified small no-bid contracts for apartment repairs, awarded to select vendors in exchange for cash to superintendents, as the source of corruption.

What prosecutors didn’t say was that many of the bills submitted by the vendors who win these so-called micro-purchase contracts raise serious questions about whether NYCHA wound up paying them hundreds of thousands — or even millions — of taxpayer dollars in inflated costs over the years.

All of these bills had one thing in common, a review of contract data by THE CITY found.

The vendors sought compensation as close to the maximum allowed at the time on each contract, regardless of the work performed. Micro contracts have a built-in incentive for vendors to bill for just below the maximum allowed — $5,000 until late 2019, $10,000 since — no matter what the scope and value of the task at hand is.

read more; https://www.truthdig.com/articles/nyc-housing-authority-paid-out-708-for-replacing-a-single-lightbulb/

submitted 18 hours ago by anzich@feddit.de to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

State Department spokesman Matthew Miller burst into laughter after a reporter interrupted his claim that the U.S. government does not “dictate to any country what it must do” with the comment, “Unless you invade them.”

submitted 4 days ago by ylai@lemmy.ml to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world
submitted 1 week ago by tree@lemmy.zip to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

Governor Kathy Hochul has been a staunch supporter and defender of Israel's ongoing siege and bombardment of Gaza and sanctioned settler violence in the occupied West Bank, even going so far as to travel to Israel a few weeks after the Hamas attacks of October 7, despite being told her father was on his deathbed.

For Hochul, her unwavering support of Israel is reflexive—Israel, in her mind, has a right to defend itself, no matter the consequences to civilian populations.

Last Thursday, Hochul spoke at a fundraiser of the UJA-Federation of New York, which, according to the Intercept, "has been accused of sending millions in tax-exempt dollars to organizations that support Israel’s illegal settlement program in the occupied West Bank." The UJA-Federation also originally paid for Hochul's October trip to Israel; after criticism, she then said her own office would cover the expense.

While at the fundraiser, Hochul reiterated her support of Israel and its actions in Gaza and the West Bank.

"If Canada someday ever attacked Buffalo, I'm sorry my friends, there would be no Canada the next day," Hochul said. "That's a natural reaction. You have a right to defend yourself and to make sure it never happens again."

read more:https://hellgatenyc.com/hochul-bomb-canada-psych

submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by misk@sopuli.xyz to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world
submitted 1 week ago by misk@sopuli.xyz to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world
submitted 1 week ago by tree@lemmy.zip to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

During a visit to lobby legislators on transgender issues, Senator Carden Summers (R) knelt down and told a child he would protect her. When he learned she was trans, he backed away.

On Feb. 6, a group of families met to lobby senators on issues affecting the local transgender community in Georgia. One mother, Lena Kotler, decided to take her two children with her to give the topic a human face. While waiting to meet with Democratic Sen. Kim Jackson, who they had heard was a big supporter of LGBTQ+ rights, another senator passed by — Republican Sen. Carden Summers, the primary sponsor of the state’s bathroom ban bill. Little did he know that one of the children he would be interacting with, Aleix, 8 years old, was a transgender child.

According to Kotler and other families who were present, the senator stopped to say hello. That’s when Kotler spoke to Senator Summers about how she was there with her kids to “talk to legislators about keeping her kids safe.” Although she did not mention that one of her children was trans, they were present with LGBTQ+ signage - something the Senator apparently missed when he knelt down in front of Aleix and said, according to Kotler, “Well you know, we’re working on that and I’m going to protect kids like you.”

Kotler then replied, “Yeah - Alex is trans, and she wants to be safe at school, she wants to go to the bathroom and be safe.”

That is when, according to multiple witnesses, Sen. Summers stood up and fumbled his words, repeating, "I mean, yeah, I'm going to make sure she's safe by going to the right bathroom," continuing to use the correct pronouns for Aleix. When asked if he would make her go to a boy's bathroom, he then allegedly backed away, saying, "You're attacking me," turned around, and walked off quickly.

read more: https://www.erininthemorning.com/p/georgia-senator-vows-to-protect-girl?publication_id=994764&post_id=141716994


cross-posted from: https://real.lemmy.fan/post/745625

You guys got a 30x12 place I can borrow? (Article says lean-to but I've never seen a 360 sq ft lean-to before.)


cross-posted from: https://feddit.uk/post/7913794

A man who mixed his sperm with his father’s to help get his partner pregnant will not be forced to take a paternity test, the high court has ruled.

The man, identified as PQ as he cannot be named for legal reasons, and his partner (JK) had experienced fertility problems and were not able to afford IVF treatment, the court heard at a hearing last month.

As a result he agreed to mix his sperm with his father’s (RS), which was then injected into the woman. The arrangement, which Justice Poole was informed had been “always intended” to be kept secret, led to the birth of a now five-year-old boy (D).

But once Barnsley council became aware of the circumstances of the boy’s conception as a result of separate proceeding, it launched a legal bid to determine his parentage.


However, in a judgment handed down on Thursday, Poole dismissed the bid, saying that he found the council had “no stake in the outcome”.


“A wish to uphold the public interest in maintaining accurate records of births does not confer a personal interest in the determination of such an application.”


Throughout the case, the judge said that the family had “created a welfare minefield”, adding: “I cannot believe that JK, PQ and RS properly thought through the ramifications of their scheme for JK to become pregnant, otherwise it is unlikely that they would have embarked upon it.”


“Without testing, his biological paternity remains uncertain but there is a strong chance, to say the least, that the person he thinks is his grandfather is his biological father, and that the person he thinks is his father is his biological half-brother.”


Iranian navy Rear Adm. Shahram Irani declared that his country has “property rights” in Antarctica, particularly the South Pole, in a newly surfaced video.

“With regard to the South Pole, we have property rights there, and they belong to the public,” Irani said in the video of a television broadcast from last fall.

He added, “Our plan is to raise the flag there, inshallah. It is not only military work but also scientific work that needs to be carried out.”


It's unclear how such egregiously bad images made it through peer-review.

submitted 1 week ago by ylai@lemmy.ml to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world
view more: next ›

Not The Onion

1 readers
59 users here now


We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 8 months ago